Best Friend ♥

On a bright note. 
I should be seeing my best friend today [checks clock; yep. Today]
She seems to see fit to come around at like 7am, and when I'm still awake at nearly 1am..
I'm worried, but whatever. I rarely get to see her anymore so I'll make the most of it and
catch up on sleep when I can. Although that always seems to be in my plans, and never 
in my actual 'Do' :) I've been missing her so much, it's something I try not to think about
anymore, because like I said, seeing her is a rarity nowadays.. Sometimes I think I 
just worry that the more alone I feel, the easier it is to cut myself off from everyone
and the easier it is to then consider it "not a problem" to kill myself. 
I can sometimes quite easily forget how many people I have around me, now I'm 
older and visits and support is so much less, both in frequency and in the amount
of time that I get to spend with them. I don't know. Maybe this'll figure itself out.
I am struggling. A lot, but as bad as it sounds, I think self-harming was definitely
what I needed because I feel quite a bit more in control now. 
Hopefully we'll have a good day and it wont end up being slightly bitter over 
whatever issues we may have with each other. Although to be honest,
she's so caught up with her boyfriend, I don't think she'll notice anything amiss 
with me anyway. She doesn't really even notice me anymore. Ah. Love.
Possibly. Let's just hope for her sake, considering all she is throwing 
aside for it, this is a two-way thing and that he feel the same.