And So The Struggle Continues..

I feel shit today; and I'm really truely feeling it..

As such, I've ended up bingeing and now  and

tommorrow, I do already and will  feel absolutely 

shit when I most probably will gain weight. 

I did a huge work out - but I dont think it will be 

enough to fix this..

 Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

I dont wanna hurt like this. 

It's not fair.

I'm fed up, I'm scared, I'm so

fucking scared.He's had so much of my life, 

and even after leaving it physically, he still has me.. 

still as much control, causing as much pain as ever;

if not more because I didn't remember most of it as it was happening..

I did say stop.

I keep trying to tell myself..

*It's not my fault, it's not my fault* but then..

 .. why does it feel like it is?

I cant remember a time before this.