Broken Promises.

I hate how alone I feel. 
My sister was upset last night; so was texting me. 
I truly don't think Dad realises how much it hurts that everything always has to end with

"Make sure you tell Dad about that"

It's not that I don't want him to be part of the picture, far from it. 
It's just frustrating that I cannot do ANYTHING to help my sister myself.
It's all promises and niceties that I'll get Dad to do "..." etc and make 
him see how important this is.
Yet.
He seems unable. 
My support worker did say to me that most men are just unable to prioritize when it comes to 
physical and emotional stuff. Emotional stuff always being bottom of course.
He has 4 daughters that he is now in complete control and care of bringing up;
now is not a good time to be ignoring emotions.
I just think it looks like my parent's are still not seeing what I've been through/done to cope..
I don't want another of us to end up coping in these ways but if they keep using the 
'sweet blissful ignorance' technique that seems very likely to happen.
Problematically, he is breaking my promises's to my sister. 
I told her I'd make sure he got her help [she was extremely reluctant for ages] 
and that it would be asap [any longer and she'll try and back out of it all]
I've already had 4 conversations with her trying to back out of this and Dad seems 
to fail to realise how hard it is to keep re-convincing her that it's the best thing..
Yesterday aswell as texting my sister. I got a text from my Nan. 
First contact in I don't know.. months. I saw her at Christmas, but it was a kinda flying visit.
I haven't seen my friends in a while. And it's definitely not consistent. Plus I've only just realised
how cut off I am from my family. Other than this particular sister, I am pretty much alone. 
And unless money is needed/wanted, I am a complete last thought.

2 Weeks && Sibling Stay.

So.. 

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 weeks today. [ Not exactly the biggest achievement but for me, who has extreme trust and relationship issues. J I think I’m happy. Besides struggling so much with my own personal issues, I am happy with him. I do still feel safe with him, but I understand that he is really worried that it’s just going to be a matter of time before I don’t feel safe with him anymore; I suppose for me, the hardest thing is, that I can’t guarantee him that that won’t be the case. I really am so fed up of my past destroying my future. I’ve got my sister over to stay this weekend.. I’m not sure how it’ll go really. It is nice to have her here and to be able to spend some proper time together. [ I had my other sister other last weekend] [ Even if we’ve spent most of the day inside, watching DVDs and playing on the Wii.. She wants to go to the park so I’ve said to leave it till a bit later so it’ll be empty – although really it’s because I really don’t feel up to doing the whole sociable bit and despite the fact I’ve got my sister over, she’s pretty good at amusing herself for the general part of it all. I know that it’s not the point of having her here, despite giving my family a break, I do like being with her but because she’s seen me, as bad as it sounds, in terrible worse then this states, it really doesn’t phase her. 

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