Binge :/

Had an idiotic binge last night/this morning, so have spent a hell of a lot of today in my bathroom with sickness and diarrhea [food induced of course]. I KNOW how fucking sensitive my stomach is when fasting and I still let my emotions get the better of me and control me enough into a binge.. I don't know how to stop feeling so sick. I know that fasting for a week and then binging for a day and then fasting, binging, fasting. Is not a good cycle.. I KNOW this. Yet I still don't seem able to keep myself from it. I hate myself enough at the moment, without what the scales are going to say on top of it all. At least when I'm fasting I felt pretty in control of it all and the weight loss gave me both achievement and motivation. Meh. Todays a shit day.