ρℓєαѕє ¢σмє ιη; ι нανє вєєη єχρє¢тιηg уσυ ♥

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I am just a randomer; another mentalist at large
A 19 year old female, who doesn't know who she is or what
she's doing, searching the madosphere one blog at a time (:

Hoping to find, who and what she's looking for and every
reason as to why to
look in the first place.
Welcome everyone!
mentalists and bloggers alike.
Join me as I find my place in this world, doubting
the who's, what's, why's and wheres of my life.
Trying to make a compromise between what I want and
need, what I already have and what I can leave behind.

ρєσρℓє ωнσ яєα∂ му яαмвℓєѕ♥

ƒσℓℓσω тнє яαιηвσω

Monday, 7 February 2011

Happiness, Fear && Lurking Memories ♥

I think I am happy.


He gives me butterflies.


I want him to touch me, but it just doesn't feel do-able at the moment.
But then I'm scared and weirded out, because I've never wanted to be touched before.


I even ate with him today. Breaking the rules. Breaking my record.


He held me and I didn't freak out.


I felt safe.


Yet.


I'm already contemplating the end of March/beginning of April for my death.
It's isn't an insistent, unbearable, impossible to ignore thought yet.. but it will be.
Soon enough


I don't want to hurt him at all.


Do I break it off now?


Or do I keep everything that might get me through the first April, since it all, unscathed. 


♥ I think I might be falling in Love 

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♥ ωє ℓσνє уσυ ♥

Notes from Friends - Lest I Forget ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

♥ Please be my dude forever?
I know your trying and we're
all proud of your efforts. Don't
be disheartened
by little slips.
You wouldn't be our
bestest
dude if you weren't you;
we
love you; quirks and all (:

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I cannot ease your aching
heart, Nor take your pain away,
But let me stay and take your
hand, And walk with you today
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Word's can't express what it
means to have you in my life.
I Love You
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I hope you have a good day -
you deserve it. You are so much

stronger then even YOU realise.
I will love you forever
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥