Spending..

In an effort to cheer myself up I've spent money.. a LOT of money.. damn the stupid people for fucking things for so long, now having this money all at once makes it soo damn hard to not spend.. luckily, I'd already put a lot of it into my savings account. I should be receiving a; New 27" TV, Wii Fit game thingy and a new laptop :) I am happy I'm getting them, but I feel guilty despite the fact I shouldn't be.. *sigh* I really don't know what's going on in my head today.. On a more? positive note despite horrendous flashbacks and nightmares last night, I didn't cut again.

A Needed Good Letter :)

So, I recieved a wonderful letter in the post this morning.. they have fucked up my payments for the last 20 months so now owe me.. wait for it.. £4099.85. Seriously.. how the fuck do you mess up that much.. I'm not exactly fussed, because I managed and now am going to have all my moving flats money pretty much sorted, but again.. maybe up to £1000 I could understand, the rates change all the fucking time and they take forever to remember to higher your amount paid.. but over £4000.. as happy as I am.. I needed this, I needed something good.. for the first time in quite a while :) Still tired, still stressed, worried, dissociated and fucked in the head.. but now I can be all that without the bills breathing down my neck. Hopefully it could mean a pretty good new beginning.. a re-vamp of my life.